Friday, December 17
just got back.. finally rested my feet. they look terrible after weeks of abuse. bah. went to hc in the morning after getting my posting. saw the vp and must have left a terrible impression. i was practically mute the entire time. well at least that tallies with my results slip, cos there's a remark there that i'm quiet and hardworking. met jean and went shopping. jean, thanks so much for the wallet! i really think it was far too ex.. but thanks. i'll think of you everytime i take it out. =) bought her a blobby cross pendant. got some other stuff. bumped into joan at lido. passed ally her present. wished there were less people in orchard. i can't stand crowds. met her juniors and senior for dinner then wandered about orchard. watched some performances. alison is quite funny somehow. seniors are more or less the same. mine are funny in the same way anyway.
jan and i plan to meet on the first day of school. but. she will have rachel leow and i won't. gah. i'm scared. but i must go through with this. i must.
walking home i happened to glance up as i was crossing the bridge. i've rarely seen the sky so full of stars... they twinkled and winked at me.. and immediately i thought of you, and what you would have said to me at that moment. the crescent moon smiled wistfully, and i wondered why such beauty had to be viewed alone. and somehow i know, even if you were looking up at the same instant and staring in wonder at the same stars in the same night sky... i know... it wouldn't be me you're thinking of. the sky's so vast and far away.. it's unreachable.. and yet when you stretch your hands out to it, it seems so near, as if you could touch it. i could almost see a star or two falling into my open palm.. but when i close my fist... there's nothing. it's a dream, it's a wish, and it's a prayer. i don't want to look up and see stars in the sky. i don't want to think of you. but i always do.
it must've been love.
10:45 pm
xoxo
